The Law Offices of James A. Cuddy, LLC

How to keep kids first when announcing a divorce

While making the decision to divorce may be difficult by itself, it is certainly a thorny conundrum with how to tell children about what is going to happen to the marriage. On the one hand, it is a time of transition in the lives of the parents just as much as it is for the children. Because of this, it is important for parents to be careful with how they announce their split.

This post will offer some helpful tips for parents facing this scenario.

Make sure to reassure the kids – It should be anticipated that kids will blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. It is almost as if they believe that if they could have done something differently, they could have saved their parents’ marriage. They also may feel as if one parent does not love them anymore. Whatever the feeling, it is important to reassure the kids that they are loved regardless of what the parent’s relationship is.

Don’t blame the other parent – Despite how angry you may be at the other parent for infidelity, abuse or not pulling their weight in the marriage, resist the urge to blame the other parent for the demise of the relationship. This could make kids feel tremendously guilty for loving the other parent.

Continue to be a parent – Even after you announce your split, it is important to stay in the children’s lives. It is easier than you may think to disappear from a child’s life during (or after) a divorce because of how the custodial parent may feel about you.  Just keep in mind that kids still need you even though you’re no longer married to the other parent. 

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