The Law Offices of James A. Cuddy, LLC

Are you dealing with a difficult co-parent?

Getting divorced may be hard enough with an ex who is petulant, juvenile and vindictive. While you may no longer be married to this person, you still may have to co-parent with them, even though you may be awarded sole physical custody. The petty fights about paying registration fees for sports leagues, scheduling parent-teacher conferences and sharing information about medical procedures may still spark confrontations.

Dealing with a difficult person can be exhausting; and perhaps this is what he or she really wants? After all, if you give up (control) and give in to their demands just so that life can be easier, this may be considered a “win” in their book. But therein lies the problem. The parent (or perhaps both of you) are more concerned about being the victor that they lose sight of what is important to the children

It is this obsession with ego and control that can lead to the children having difficulties with both parents. Kids can be very perceptive and know that they are pawns in a game between parents. Depending on their temperament, this can be troubling to them because they don’t want to disappoint either parent. As they get older, kids who know that they are only valued as chattel may take advantage of their parents and may play them against each other just to get what they want.

To avoid this scenario, parents dealing with difficult co-parents must follow a few important protocols so that they can maintain strong, positive relationships with their kids. These will be discussed in our next post. 

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