The Law Offices of James A. Cuddy, LLC

Tips for men struggling with child custody issues

It is widely believed that men do not share the same emotional needs as women, and that husbands and fathers do not go through the same level of stress as wives and mothers with regard to divorce and child custody struggles. This, however, is a rather unenlightened view of the truth, which is that individuals all process stress differently, and with little influence from their gender. Men in Connecticut often have difficulty adjusting to a child custody case, and have little access to the same level of resources made available to many women.

One way that men can ameliorate the stress of child custody is to remember that divorce is the end of a bond between a husband and wife, and not the end of the bond between a father and his children. Many men feel certain that divorce will bring serious damage to their relationship with their children, but this does not have to be the case. It is important to take a proactive stance in regard to staying connected to one's kids, even as both parents transition into lives as single people.

Another tip that could be helpful involves avoiding spending excessive amounts of time examining why the marriage ended and what might have been done differently. There is a great deal of value in understanding what went wrong, so that future mistakes can be avoided. However, obsessively focusing on the past can stand in the way of moving forward. This is a time in which focus should be placed on creating a new parenting structure, not on delving into the land of "what-ifs."

For many Connecticut fathers, divorce and child custody struggles bring on the same volume of stress as experienced by mothers. Unfortunately, our society expects men to weather emotional turmoil with relative ease, and few resources are available to fathers facing high levels of stress. By connecting with one's children and focusing on the future, many men can move through this period of transition with reduced stress, and the prospect of a happier future.

Source: The Huffington Post, "7 Ways Men Say They Bounced Back From Divorce", Brittany Wong, June 25, 2015

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