The Law Offices of James A. Cuddy, LLC

Can divorce be amicable?

The term “conscious uncoupling” has been all over the news lately thanks to the news of the divorce of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At first blush, the lingo might seem like new age, Hollywood elite gibberish, but the idea behind it is a worthy one. Going through a divorce in Connecticut can be contentious as both parties hash out the details of child custody, property division and spousal support. Things can get bitter quickly and many cases end up in court when neither side can agree.

It doesn’t have to be that way. If the couple are willing, a third-party mediator is a fantastic option. They are neutral and act as a buffer between the two sides, tempering the arguments and making for a more harmonious process. With a moderator, couples are usually able to set aside petty differences and act in the best interests of the children, avoiding some of the rancor that normally accompanies a breakup. 

Couples who decide to go this route—and even those whose don’t—can benefit from following these few simple rules:

-  Don’t play the blame game. Chances are, you both bear some level of responsibility for the split.

-  Avoid incendiary language. Don’t provoke the other person by using accusatory words or insults.

-  Exercise patience and hang in there even when things get rough. The solution is there. It just might take some digging to get there.

-  Decide what you want to achieve and be clear and concise about it.

-  Focus on the topics that matter and try not to veer into tangents that aren’t serving the end goal.

If you’re considering a mediated divorce, a Connecticut divorce attorney may be able to reduce the emotional stress by guiding you through the process and finding amicable solutions. 

Source:, “What is 'conscious uncoupling'?,” Linda Lewis Griffith, May 13, 2014

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