Which behaviors should you avoid with your teen during a divorce?

When you marry your spouse and start a family, you never expect it to end in divorce. When it does happen, however, a split can sometimes be for the best. If you have children, this may be a difficult time for them as well.

When raising teenagers while going through a divorce, Huffington Post provides advice on what not to do.

Never use your children to spy or contact your ex

Your children should never feel as though they are being used as a messenger or as a spy. While you should encourage contact with the other parent and provide encouragement for your children to remain in a consistent relationship with your ex-spouse, it should not involve you digging for information about their other parent.

Do not bad talk your ex-spouse

Be careful of what you say about your ex. There are going to be a lot of hurt feelings and while you are in your rights to vent to your close friends, you need to do so in a space where you know that your teenagers will not overhear you. Never talk about your discontent with them. You need to take the high road for their sake.

Do not rule the conversation

Try to follow your teenagers’ lead on the conversations regarding the divorce. Teens may not be ready to talk right away. Keep the door open for conversation and do your best to have a meaningful conversation when the time comes. When your children are ready, listen to them and provide them a safe space to lead the conversation.