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Shelton Family Law Blog

8 critical tips to work with your ex for the children's benefit

After 10 years of marriage, it's finally ending. Your spouse asked for a divorce. The last year has been pretty rocky, so you're actually happy to move on from the relationship.

That said, you and your spouse aren't on great terms. The last thing you feel like doing is working with him or her. You don't want to cooperate. You want the freedom to do whatever you want. Isn't that what divorce is all about?

You can achieve a calm, respectful divorce

Just because a marriage ends doesn't mean that the couple has to let it get ugly. Many couples realize at some point that they simply don't want to continue the relationship. If one or both spouses realize that a divorce can remain as calm and restful as they let it, it is entirely possible to achieve divorce without creating crisis.

A focus on civility and respect

Even in the face of great conflict, couples can choose to approach their divorce intentionally, to help each other move on and avoid the temptations to punish each other in the process. However, it is difficult for couples to navigate divorce together amicably without proper legal counsel. Even in instances where couples want to keep things civil, the difficulty of reaching fair divorce agreements that address every area that a complete divorce requires is considerable.

How do I modify my divorce orders?

In rare cases -- when the decision of a judge was obviously unlawful or unfair -- a divorced person can appeal the decision to try and get it changed. In most cases, when a judge makes a decision, the decision is usually final.

However, spouses might be able to modify their divorce orders at a later time. Such a modification could receive approval if the modification relates to a significant change in circumstances relating to one or more parties affected by the divorce orders.

4 questions about child support modifications

You and your spouse are splitting up. You think the court will order you to pay child support for your 12-year-old son.

You're fine with that, and you want to help out. However, you also work in a rather volatile industry. Things are going well right now, but you're worried about what your finances will look like in a year, or in five years. If you're ordered to pay $1,000 per month, for example, is that going to turn problematic in the future?

Protecting your children with divorce mediation

As a spouse, you know it's time to end your marriage, but as a parent you worry that a divorce may harm your children. This is a reasonable concern, and one that many more parents should carefully consider before serving a spouse with divorce papers. However, there's good news for parents who worry about the effects of a divorce on children.

A traditionally litigated divorce that takes place in a courtroom can certainly present many pressures to children. This setting often encourages combative attitudes in parents, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you want to keep your divorce civil and even healthy, you should consider speaking with an attorney about divorce mediation.

Not happy with the divorce decree? Go back to court

The day you walked into court to finalize your divorce, you expected that to be the end of it. However, after a few days of contemplating the divorce decree, you realized that you are not even close to happy with the decisions the court made. But what can you do now that the divorce is final? Do you have any options at all?

Fortunately, even after you have the divorce decree in hand, you have the right to go back to court in Shelton and challenge the decision. Or, it may be possible that your ex-husband is not happy with the final ruling of the court and he wants to challenge the judgment. If this is the case, then it is best to prepare for the process. Read further to find out more about challenging a divorce decree.

Could you benefit from a collabortive law divorce?

The use of alternative dispute resolution in divorce proceedings just makes sense. Imagine you have been married for 15 years and you're seeking a divorce. You and your ex-spouse may have amassed a lot of marital assets together, including vehicles, real estate, retirement savings, cash bank accounts and more. You may also have child custody and child support decisions to make.

In a case where two spouses cannot agree on anything, it may be impossible to reach a fair settlement out of court. However, Connecticut spouses often see the wisdom in reaching accord. Many spouses want to benefit from the time-saving and money-saving aspects of reaching an out of court settlement, which also allows them to stay in control of their divorce outcome, and this motivates them to work together.

Self-Representing In Your Divorce Can Backfire

If you're about to start your divorce process, you may be tempted to believe that representing yourself will save you money that you'd rather keep than throw at lawyers. While this is an understandable reaction, the truth is that you're probably underestimating what the whole process of divorce involves and requires. If you're not familiar with that process, you may end up hiring a lawyer later, and spending that money anyway on top of the money and effort you've already spent trying to do it yourself.

The following are five reasons why you shouldn't try to self-represent in your divorce case.

Failure to pay child support could lead to jail

The child support enforcement system has many tools at its disposal to motivate parents to pay child support. In Connecticut, these tools include wage garnishments, tax refund intercepts and reports to credit bureaus. One option receiving more attention is the ability of a judge to put a parent in jail for failure to pay child support.

Supporters of jail as an incentive to pay child support generally believe that people should not have children that they cannot afford. The threat of jail is seen as motivation for people who can afford to pay child support but choose not to do so. In some states, significant numbers of inmates are in jail due to failure to pay child support.

The impact of mediation on divorce

Connecticut residents who are contemplating divorce may be interested in incorporating mediation into the divorce process. While divorce may be complex, mediation might help spouses reconcile differences that might be a source of discord.

Listening to one another is a major benefit of divorce mediation. Getting to the point where that occurs may be difficult. Spouses may have a series of issues they feel strongly about and differing opinions. Talking about those issues without rancor is a good first step toward a solution. However, discussion might be interrupted by emotion and dismissal of each party's input.

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