Telling your children about your impending divorce

There is no one-size-fits-all guaranteed easy way to tell your children about your divorce. How they react depends largely on their personalities and maturity level and the circumstances surrounding the split.

However, there are things you can do to make the process easier for everyone.

Be honest

It is important to be honest with your children about the divorce while also tailoring the information to their age and maturity level. Use simple language and avoid blaming or criticizing the other parent. Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault in any way and that both parents still love them and will continue to do so and remain involved in their lives.

Be open

Allow them to have their opinions and feelings. Encourage them to be honest and open with their own emotions in response to the news, and let them know that feelings like anger, confusion and hurt are normal. Answer any questions as much as you can without delving into inappropriate territory or damaging their relationship with the other parent.

Divorce can cause feelings of loss, anxiety and depression in children, who have no control and suddenly find their lives and everything they thought they knew was secure and safe suddenly in upheaval. Breaking the news of one can be an emotional and difficult experience, no matter how you handle it, because what you share is often distressing information to them. The important thing is to reassure them of your unconditional love and be open, both with your answers as much as is appropriate and to their reactions.