Even relatively amicable divorces can be difficult for children. Kids often imagine they had something to do with their parents’ split, or feel that their parents will cease loving them as a result.
While nothing could be farther from the truth, children must be assured by both parents that their loving, healthy relationship will continue no matter what. The following tips can help your children cope with divorce the best they can.
Do not tell your child more than they need to know
Children do not need to know about the intimate details of your marriage and its demise. They do not need to hear about affairs, or money issues, or any other subject that will cast the other parent in a bad light. If you are struggling with your divorce, seek out a friend or loved one to discuss your concerns with. You can also undergo counseling if you believe that you are having difficulty coping with your divorce in a healthy way.
Maintain family routines as much as possible
Routines are soothing for kids, especially when they are contending with a major life upheaval like moving from one home to another. When your kids are with you, try to keep the same routines when it comes to dinner, bedtime, homework, and other daily occurrences. You can also ask your ex-spouse to do the same at their house, which will be comforting to kids when away from home.
Encourage a relationship with the other parent
Even if your ex was not a good relationship partner, that does not mean they cannot be a good parent. Do not let your feelings interfere with your children’s relationship with your ex. Instead, encourage them to spend quality time together as much as possible through phone calls and visits.