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Can shared custody ever be easy?

Parents usually want to spend as much time as possible with their children. This may be especially true for divorced parents, whose time is already limited as it is. However, many parents just like you are choosing shared custody instead of fighting for primary custody. While this can be extremely beneficial for you and your child, getting accustomed to shared custody can take time.

Even with the best of intentions, you may make some decisions that compromise the stability of your shared custody. On the other hand, it might be hard for you and your ex to agree on certain matters. These issues may seem impossible, but with the right approach, you can have a successful co-parenting relationship with your ex.

Work on your communication

Ineffective communication is a pretty common divorce factor. If you are planning on co-parenting, you may be wondering how you will make this part of things work. Maybe you hope that communicating will instantly become easier when you are no longer married, but this is usually not the case. Shared custody works best when you and your ex are cooperative and respectful, so you should talk about communication early on in the process.

Decide whether you prefer to talk in person, in emails or through text messaging. You might find that one method works at first, but after a certain period of time you need to switch things up. You could also consider maintaining a joint online calendar to keep track of appointments, school events and more.

Keep things civil

Following your divorce, you may still feel upset and even angry with your ex-spouse. This is understandable, and it could take quite some time for these feelings to go away. However, just because you have these feelings does not mean that you should always voice them.

Your child does not need to hear your thoughts about your ex, because that is his or her other parent. The benefits of co-parenting reduce greatly if your child feels conflicted about one or both of his parents. Since your child is half of you and half of your ex, he or she might also think that you are directing some of your negative comments toward them.

Collaboration for child custody

If the only exposure you have to divorce is through TV shows, movies and other popular forms of entertainment, your view of divorce might be skewed. Divorce does not always end up in court, and indeed, it is usually better to try to settle things between yourself and your ex. If you can agree on a shared custody arrangement on your own, you not only save money, but you also decrease some of the negative emotions with which your child might be dealing.

You and your ex both want what is best for your child. However, if you are getting divorced, there is a chance that you might struggle to agree on what is in his or her best interests when it comes to shared custody. For this reason, it can be helpful to work with an attorney who is experienced in Connecticut family law. Doing so can usually help parents reach the best possible solution outside of the courtroom.

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The Law Offices of James A. Cuddy, LLC

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