One of the biggest concerns you have about getting divorced may be how your children will react. Although divorce can significantly alter your life and the lives of your children, it is a common experience for many.
According to the American Psychological Association, between 40 to 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Sharing custody and coparenting with your ex can help your children feel more secure as they transition into this new phase in their lives.
1. Commit to communicating regularly
Communication can help keep your coparenting arrangement running smoothly. Set up a time every few days or weeks where you talk to your coparent about your children. You should also decide whether you will communicate primarily over text, email, phone calls or in-person.
2. Keep routines at both homes similar
Your children may react better to your divorce if you maintain similar routines at both households. For example, keep bedtimes, discipline, expectations for homework and other routines the same, no matter which parent your children are with.
3. Make important decisions together
You should make major decisions about your children together with your former spouse. For instance, you should make choices about your children’s education and medical care in partnership with your ex.
Learning how to coparent effectively with your former spouse will take time and practice and will not immediately occur after you settle your divorce. Put your children first when making decisions and try to keep your personal feelings for your ex out of the arrangement.