Collaborative divorce may be possible even if you dislike your ex

Collaborative divorce is an amicable and cooperative approach to ending a marriage, where both spouses work together to reach a mutually agreeable settlement without the need for litigation.

Of course, many divorces involve anger, hostility and other negative emotions between the ex-partners. However, collaborative divorce remains a viable option in many relationships that are now sour.

Acknowledge the dislike

The first step toward a collaborative divorce is to acknowledge feelings such as resentment, anger or even dislike. Recognize that they need not dictate the entire process.

Emphasize common interests

Collaborative divorce centers on identifying common interests and shared goals, such as an equitable division of assets or the well-being of children. These shared interests can serve as a foundation for constructive discussions, even when you do not particularly like your ex.

Prioritize effective communication

Effective communication is paramount in a collaborative divorce, especially when personal feelings can cloud the issues. Both parties should commit to respectful and open dialogue, focusing on the issues at hand rather than personal grievances. This approach can help keep emotions in check.

Seek mediation and neutrality

A neutral third party, such as a mediator, can be invaluable. Mediators can facilitate discussions, ensuring both parties have a fair say and helping to manage disputes in a non-confrontational manner.

Agree on terms and compromise

Connecticut has 2.5 divorces per 1,000 people, and many of these splits never go to trial. Collaborative divorce hinges on the ability to reach agreements and compromises. Although you may not like your ex, it is important to prioritize fair solutions. Both parties should be willing to make concessions and find a middle ground to avoid adversarial confrontations.

Maintain a forward-looking perspective

A collaborative divorce is about focusing on the future rather than dwelling on the past. Even if you dislike your ex, maintaining a forward-looking perspective can help keep the process on track. Remember that divorce is a legal procedure. Personal feelings, while valid, should not hinder the pursuit of a mutually beneficial resolution.

Consider the well-being of children

In cases involving children, their well-being should be the top priority. A collaborative approach can ensure that co-parenting remains effective, minimizing the negative impact on the children.

Collaborative divorce is often worthwhile even when you do not like your ex. For example, it can help set the tone for an effective co-parenting relationship and help you move on with your life more quickly.